


Love and Bravery

by ellebeedarling



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, Gift Fic, Gift Giving, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 06:59:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13048890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellebeedarling/pseuds/ellebeedarling
Summary: Gabe is terrible at gift giving, but he wants to make Christmas special for his new family.





	Love and Bravery

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SweetRee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetRee/gifts).



> Merry Christmas my friend! I chose to write Gabe/Zaeed for you because you've been such a staunch supporter of Can't Go On This Way from the beginning, and I appreciate that so much! I'm glad we met on tumblr and that we've gotten to know each other better through our drunk Skype sessions! I hope you enjoy this and have a very happy holiday season!! xoxo

Gabe cursed as he looked around the shopping complex. Apparently commercialism wasn’t a purely human trait. Although a human holiday, Christmas hit the Citadel like a gale force wind, and every shop owner in sight had at least a little tinsel or some gaudy lights strung up.

 

He hated shopping - particularly when he felt his hand was being forced. Having a family to shop for at Christmas was a new reality for Shepard. Not for the first time since that revelation, he wondered if he could just get away with buying Zaeed, Caleb, and Lily gift credits to the Extranet Marketplace. Zaeed had threatened him with bodily injury - and worse, no blowjobs for a year - if he so much as considered it. What the old man didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, though.

 

Zaeed was taken care of. The merc would never snub his nose at rifle mods, and Gabe had picked up one that he’d seen his lover drooling over the last time they’d stopped for a resupply. Lily was getting an outrageously expensive bottle of perfume that Gabe thought smelled awful, but which he’d been assured ‘any woman would love to have.’ 

 

That just left Caleb. 

 

Gabe was at a complete loss. He’d come as close to begging Zaeed for help as his dignity would allow, but the merc wouldn’t budge. Massani had already purchased a gift for the boy, and it was Gabe’s responsibility, as the kid’s father, to pick out something on his own. 

 

Shepard cursed. Zaeed could be a real pain in the ass sometimes. 

 

Feeling annoyed and very Scrooge-like, he left the shoppers and the tinny Christmas music behind and made his way to the nearest dark hole-in-the-wall he could find, ordering a beer and sliding into a booth in the corner with a sigh. Maybe he could hide away for a little while, de-stress, then perhaps an ingenious gift idea would pop into his head.  _ And maybe angels will fly out of my ass. _

 

He sighed and lit a cigarette, slumping into the booth and resting his head on the back. Even in this dive, the Christmas spirit was in full swing. Scratchy speakers belted ancient tunes, and in spite of his humbug ways, Shepard found himself humming along. 

 

“This isn’t Christmas shopping,” a gravelly voice said, and Gabe cracked one eye open in time to watch his lover slipping into the booth across from him, whiskey in hand. 

 

“How in the hell did you find me here?”

 

“Bounty hunter, jackass.” 

 

Gabe sighed, then informed him, “I’m taking a break.”

 

“Hiding from the responsibility, more like,” Zaeed said with a grin.

 

Shepard merely shrugged, sipping his beer and glancing at the other patrons in the bar. No one seemed to be paying the couple any attention. “I’m thinking about what to get for Caleb.” 

 

“No extranet credits,” Zaeed warned him for the umpteenth time. 

 

“Eat my ass,” Shepard grumbled. 

 

“Now you’ve gone and spoiled your Christmas surprise.” 

 

Gabe rolled his eyes then flicked an empty peanut shell at the man. Zaeed laughed and waggled his eyebrows earning a reluctant chuckle from the Commander. “Promises, promises.” 

 

“You wish.” 

 

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Gabe said with a grin bordering on lecherous. “What do you say we head back to the apartment for a little while. Take a real break from Christmas shopping.” 

 

“No dice. You get nothing until you’ve bought that boy something spectacular.” 

 

Gabe briefly considered whining. The mere idea of Zaeed’s face between his legs had things stirring down there. In the end he thought better of it, knowing the merc wouldn’t be swayed anyway. With a petulant sigh, Gabe finished his beer and ordered another. “What about food? Can we do that before I shop again? I’m starving and my feet are killing me.” 

 

Zaeed laughed at him again and called up the table menu, punching in an order for two burgers and a large order of onion rings. “There. Merry fucking Christmas.” 

 

“You’re such a pushover,” Gabe grinned.

 

“Am not. I just happen to be hungry, too.” 

 

Gabe shook his head, fingers drumming on the table top as he looked around the room again. Nothing had changed. There were still exactly three drunks sitting at the bar, one of them spouting nonsense about a long lost love. The turian beside him looked ready to snap the man’s head off, while the batarian at the end was content to peer into his ale and ignore them all. 

 

“So,” Zaeed drew his attention away from the dingy bar and its occupants. “Do you at least have an idea of what you want to get for Caleb?” 

 

“No,” Shepard admitted sullenly. “What did you get him?” 

 

“Not bloody telling. You’ll just have to wait and be surprised on Christmas morning like Caleb.” 

 

“I need to make sure we don’t get him the same thing.” 

 

“Nice try.”

 

“...Or that you don’t get him something better than me.” 

 

“Not happening.” Zaeed looked up when an asari in a dirty yellow shirt dropped two plates and a basket of greasy onion rings on the table in front of them. “Like I said… I want you to be surprised.” He took a bite of the burger and hummed his approval at the taste. 

 

Gabe fiddled with a scalding hot onion ring as he watched the man. “You’re really getting into this whole Santa thing, aren’t you?” 

 

“Been a long goddamn time since I had someone to celebrate Christmas with,” the merc mumbled into his napkin. There was a sorrow in his mismatched eyes that made Gabe smile sadly. 

 

It had been a long time since he’d had a reason to celebrate as well. He’d tried to forget the holiday after his mother’s death. There had been a few obligatory squad parties during which Gabe tried to hide in a corner imbibing as much booze as he could get away with and socializing as little as possible. Once he’d made N7, he’d stopped bothering to attend those things, and when the crew of the Normandy had pooled their resources to get him a gift a couple times, he’d rewarded them with extended shore leave to spend with their families and considered that gift enough. 

 

Seeing how much this all meant to Zaeed, he wondered if he’d made the right call with his purchase of the rifle mod. He ate his burger in silence as he tried to work out a way to make the day special for the man he loved. Since Mindoir, he’d spared little thought for the feelings of those around him. The best anyone could hope for was that he followed orders without giving too much lip and kept his pledge to do what he could to help people. Beyond that he’d never cared enough to do anything special for anyone. Until Zaeed and Caleb came along at any rate. 

 

He polished off the burger and onion rings and a few more beers before Zaeed declared that he had an errand to run. Gabe accepted a parting kiss from the man, eyes trained on his ass as he walked away. With a sigh, he paid his tab and decided he was never going to get anywhere if he kept sitting on his ass all day. 

 

**

 

Lily loved the smelly perfume declaring that she’d had her eye on a bottle for some time, but couldn’t justify spending the money. Gabe was relieved. He thought it smelled like shit. Then again he’d never understood women, really. What man did? 

 

Caleb had a huge pile of presents - clothes and gadgets and video games - from all the adults in his life, the weird conglomerate that comprised their family. Gabe had contributed his fair share to the pile, but he’d saved something particular back. 

 

Maybe it was silly, but Caleb hadn’t known Shepard long, hadn’t had a lifetime to spend with him as father and son. They still didn’t have a ton of time to just sit and talk, so Shepard had recorded a series of stories from his childhood, the happy times as well as the hard times so that his son would understand the forces that had molded and shaped him into the man he was today. 

 

Caleb held the OSD with a sense of wonderment, that wise-beyond-years expression he often got. Gabe felt a little silly, but when Caleb finally met his eyes, he knew he’d made the right choice. 

 

“Thanks dad,” he said softly.  

 

Zaeed reacted to the rifle mod exactly the way Gabe had predicted he would - a grunt of thanks and a quickly suppressed spark of joy in his eyes. Shepard had also tracked down some exotic cigars made from special tobacco grown only on Thessia, and a couple bottles of Mount Milgrom’s whiskey - Zaeed’s favorite. 

 

The two of them had never been prone to overt gestures of affection or sentiment, but Gabe had felt a little guilty about not doing something special to show the man how much he meant to him. Neither of them were prone to cherishing frivolous things, which had made the search for something meaningful all the more difficult. 

 

With a hesitant hand, he pulled out the last gift and passed it to his lover. Zaeed quirked a brow at him, but said nothing. There was a tension in the room that defied logic, like everyone knew this gift was something more than just run of the mill. Gabe had never seen Zaeed’s fingers move so carefully as he untied the simple red ribbon and peeled the paper away. 

 

The box was small with a hinged lid that creaked when Zaeed opened it. Inside, on a blanket of blue velvet, lay a silver medal, polished to a shine and hanging from a blue, black, and gray ribbon bar. His brows furrowed for just a moment, then he looked to Shepard who was smiling pensively. 

 

“Medal of bravery,” Gabe said gruffly. “Awarded after Torfan. The Alliance kept it quiet because they weren’t supposed to acknowledge what happened there. They still said I’d acted with honor and fortitude despite the outcome.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he stared into the fireplace for a few moments. 

 

Clearing his throat, Shepard took a deep breath and continued. “I was proud of that mission, even though others said it made me a monster to feel that way. The nickname Butcher never bothered me… In fact, I’ve always felt a twisted sort of pride in it, I guess. I know I’ve told you most of this before, but… the fact that the Alliance chose to recognize what I’d done in the face of all the political fallout, well… that meant something to me, too. For the first time in my life, it felt like I could make a difference. Knowing that the humans I’d sworn to protect when I took the oath of service could rest easier felt good, and I think that was the real turning point in my career. The point where I decided it was more than just a job, but something I wanted to devote my life to.”

 

Zaeed’s focus was shifting between the medal in the box and the blue of Gabe’s eyes. He sensed there was more Shepard wanted to say, so he kept quiet. Gabe drew another deep breath. “When I met you, devotion to my career was the only thing I had, and thanks to Cerberus, even that had been stripped away. I… was lost, realizing that my life had been a vain pursuit of selfishness, never even knowing I needed someone to share it with. You’ve put up with so much bullshit from me, and there have been so many times when I was convinced that you’d walk away, decide I wasn’t worth the effort, but you never did. You stayed, and… and it was another turning point in my life… and I just… I just wanted you to have that,” he finished awkwardly, heat rising in his cheeks. 

 

As usual it had sounded better, less idiotic, inside his head, and the longer Zaeed sat there staring at him like he had trees growing out of his ears, the more agitated Shepard became. “Would you say something?”

 

Instead, Zaeed closed the distance between them, melding their lips together and kissing Shepard like it was the last chance he’d ever have, like the galaxy’s very existence hinged upon them never stopping. They did though, eventually, and Shepard rested his forehead against Zaeed’s, cupping his cheek and tracing his scars with a thumb.   

 

No words were spoken; Gabe had said enough on the subject to last a lifetime. Zaeed wasn’t much for waxing poetic either. Instead, they parted with another soft peck on the lips. Zaeed gave him a look like he wanted to call him a goddamn lovesick sap, but refrained. Lily spared them both the effort of figuring out a way to conclude the awkward portion of the festivities by announcing that they needed to clean up to prepare dinner. 

 

As Caleb and Lily made their way toward the kitchen, Zaeed grabbed Shepard’s hand and tugged him close. Hands cradling the younger man’s face, Zaeed’s eyes searched his for a moment before he pulled him into a hug, nuzzling his nose against Gabe’s neck and murmured, “Merry Christmas, Gabriel.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: [ellebeedarling](https://ellebeedarling.tumblr.com)
> 
> Much love,   
> Elle


End file.
